A Bad dream

Wow!!!
What a f****d up dream. Its 8:40 in the morning. I felt like i wanted to slap my wife so hard who is sleeping quietly next to me. But no, it would be ridiculous. I just saw a dream and thank got its just a dream.

Going back to the dream.
I was informed that my wife ran to a guy. I can't believe thats was a second time. Second f****ng time. She had something with this guy in the past before i was introduced to her life. Furious , Definately !! I went to fetch her. I was on the road, riding bike or motorbike , cant exactly recollect.
I heard my mom at a distace, saying bad against my wife.i was hurt, i begged my mom not to say anymore hate speech. Well my mom is a hot tempered person.
I arrived at the place. My inlaws and my dad was already there. Oh i called this guy on the cellphone when i was on the way and commanded to be there. I wanted to give him a big punch as a settlement. I was sure he was younger than me so i called him junior (bhai).
Everybody took their seat, without any delay, i just addressed the issue. Ah there comes the couple and sat on my right , dad was on my left. Obviously, he sat her away from me. How ridiculous, he was holding her hand and she wasnt seem to be very resistant however showing little uneasy though.
I felt cold , i realized she is not panicked or cared much about the incident as if she wanted that. I couldnt stand their chit chat and the closeness by my side.
I forced my elders to come to the conclusion whether i can take my wife home or let her go. Somebody said that it was not her fault she was engaged to him before, which i was unknown to. And she was seperated because he has chinky eyes. Frankly, he was ugly, small chinky eyes and pointed nose.
Finally parents agreed to send her with me. So we prepared to leave. She got a key for a scooty and i asked, have you got your back? She said,"no, he is driving me home".
Wait!!! What!!!
This isnt acceptable. It is either me or him. I said,"you finalize now". There gathered crowd again.

.... i opened my eyes. I tried to figure out where i was. Oh i am on my bed by my wife next to.

...at the moment

Dear Blog,

I  want to text my brother badly  but my fingers are not moving and am not getting any words what to ask.  i texted few words and deleted it again, i do not want to start because i fear there's bad news from that side. 

Definitely, things are pretty serious from the voice i heard from you this morning. how can it be ? i am fucking scared the shit out of it.  seems, there's a potential tsunami coming to your family, that will leave you grief stricken and us as well.  seriously, i don't want to talk to you at the moment, i just want to be with you, hug you at least or be your side. i cannot imagine the pain you are going through these days. 

is there a way i can help you ? you are no more a kid so that at least i could help you there or watch after you. i am sure, you are a man enough to handle your challenges. i am so sorry not to be there with you to fight for you. i am sorry brother i have left you alone to fight.
i wish you to be brave to bear the sorrows you are going through. i hope you will stay with her (your wife) and give as much time as she needs. i am proud of you brother, fighting alone in a foreign land.
i will be with you and always no matter what.


 love you

i am back

wow!!! where have I been for this long? somehow , one of the idle corner of my mind told me that I have a blog. I came back after 2 whole year.

though, things have changed a lot. I am totally engaged with my wife these days. living with her has been a dream come true. After few year distance living, we have been together for almost 2 years by now.

ice sculpture 2013

I know there's not always wow moment but I like your presence. I feel good whenever you are close. It's not like I am ignoring you if I am not talking. I think its men's one of the usual characteristics to remain idle without cooking anything in mind. though our path haven't been that smooth all the time, I still like to travel with you and I always will. I haven't always given you the best moment you wanted but I know, the last person you want to be with, is me.

I am sorry I can't read your mind exactly but believe me I have always wanted to make you happy, I always wanted to give you. I know I am not perfect but I can be perfect match for you. I have been trying this all the time and I will, till my last breath.

 

 

शिर्षक बिना

अचानक निन्द्राबाट आँखा खुल्यो । सार्है तिर्खाएको रहेछु , बिस्तारै सिरक सारेर ओछ्यानबाट लसक्क झरे, अनी बिरालो चालमा किचन छिरे। केही बोटल थिए टेबलमा पानी भएको चाही उचालेर घट घट पिए । फर्किएर ओछ्यानमा पल्टिन्दै गर्दा हात लम्कएर मोबाईल न गरे , ए बिहानको ३:२४ भएको रहेछ। शरीरलाई पुन सिरकमा गुट्मुटाउदै फेरी निन्द्रामा डुब्ने कोस्स गरे।

असार १५ ( रोपाइको सम्झना )

दुई दिनको आबिरल झरी

खेतमा पानी टन्न भरी

त्यसपछी आमालाई मौका छोप्न हतारो

मलाई पनि साघाउन चटारो

अनी दौडाउथे गोरु बारी बारी

खेताला पनि देखिन्थे वारी पारी

डोकोभरी मौलाएका हरिया धानका बिऊ

पानीले निथ्रुक्क भिज्दै बोकेको त्यो जिऊ

सुरु हुन्थ्यो छ्यप्ल्यङ छुप्लुङ हिलो सँग पैठे जोरी

रोपरीहरु गाउँदै र रोप्दै आउथे एकोहोरी

केही बेरमा आमा आउनु हुन्थ्यो खाजा पोको पारी

खादा खाँदै थाहै नपाइ हुन्थ्यो पेट भरी

फर्किन्थ्योउ हिलोमा खाजा खाइवरी ,हतारिन्थ्योउ रोपाइ भ्याउन घाम छदै डाडा पारी

तर कहिले त हुन्थ्यो दिन ढलेर पनि आकाशमा चन्द्र

यस्तै गरी बितथ्यो हाम्रो असार पन्ध्र

कपुरको रुख

हावा : कोमलताका साथ मलाई सिङार्दै छ
मनस्थतीलाई अनुहारको प्रतिबिम्ब गर्छ
बादल : अगाडि बढ्ने बाटो छेकिदिन्छ
तर सबभन्दा निर्दोश दृष्‍टि छेक्न सक्दैन
सपना : स्त्रीहरुको स्वर्ग हो
भोली जस्तो भये पनि
मन : अलिकती उदासिन छ तर उपेछया गर्छु समयले मेरो पिर मेटाओस
म अगाडि बढी रहन्छु, कहिलेकाही अलमलिन्छु पनि
तर मायाको लागि हावा संगै पर्खि रहन्छु
म अगाडि बढीरहन्छु
मेरो मन फेरी खुल्दैन, त्य्स बेलाको मेरो सपना अझ पनि रमनिय छ
म तिमीलाई बुझाउन चाहन्छु
सदाको लगै तिमीलाई राम्रो होस् भन्ने
सुन्सान लाग्ला, धेरै पनि छैन थोरै पनि छैन
त्येस् बेलाका क्षण क्षणहरु
हांगा पातहरु हुर्किन्छंन, जरा दिगो गाडीनुपर्छ
हेर कपूरको रुख मुनी घटेका सुख, दु:ख मिलन र बिछोड
झरेका पातहरु युवा अवस्थामा फर्कनछन,
ति प्रत्यक् क्षणहरु
म तिमीलाई बुझाउन चाहन्छु, कहिले पनि म बिर्सनेछैन

Chusak holiday

I have been for five days trip to Japan, Nagoya.
May be around some hundreds miles away from capital tokyo, i found its in central japan.
wow !! it was so nice to meet my close college friend after soo long time. That same smile , same maintained figure. Actually without her my trip to nagoya have not been possible. i would be thankful forever for her hospitality in her cozy room and her roomie, a sweet sister was so frank and helpful. I forgot everything in presence of them except my mili he..he..
Thanks Jun and Yani for such a great moment to be remembered for my entire life.jun, U have been such a wonderful friend no matter what. Proud to have a friend like you. I wish u always.
From tomorrow i`ll go back again and i will miss u again but I won`t be far. I will be watching u and ur success.wish u again.
The moment of chill riding the tv tower, seeing the city in lights from the tower. Roaming centuries old nagoya castle,knowingly unknowingly engraving mili`s name on the coin ,visiting Nagoya port, aquarium. those all have been wonderful experience. thank u my friend for making it possible.I wish kamala , Rose, ghanashyam( TC`s friend) would have also here for the moment to share.
until next tym see u(mili says,don say goodbye instead see u)
4ever fren
kapil